...times a waistin...

so you guys, if anyone reads this...you know the song by e. badu that says "times a waistin, don't you take your time young man...." i love that joint. the way she contradicts herself is pure poetry. on one hand urging us to look to the future and on the other enjoy the right now of things too...i swear this song is like the sound track of my live, well my love life at least.

i have this little addiction to looking ahead in relationships. it's like a meet a sis i'm attracted to and in my head i'm planning the honey moon, and how many kids we'll have and what there names will be. i can't help it, well maybe i can, but future dreaming, as i call it is fun and exciting to me.

i was having an im convo with the One and i found myself in full future dreaming mode, mean i was in visioning what our possible kids could look like, if we get that far and trying to decide names, whether to hyphenate our last names and all that. i know so far over the line its ridiculous. i caught myself though, eventually, or maybe she said we should put the convo on hold, at any rate, we stopped talking about all that, but it got me thinking. even before i was in a relationship i would go through this in my head so have i always been one to look far ahead too fast? i mean right now me and the One aren't an item and too be honest i have enough shit to where if she decided to walk away, that the drama of it all wasn't worth it i couldn't blame her. if i was on the outside i might be cheering her to that point..."that mutha #@&%^ hurt you cause he's full of *&#% he needs to get his *&#% together, in either case @*#/ him, you know he was @*#/ing someone else when ya'll were on break or whatever ya'll called it, don't go back"

all that said she has decided, at least in theory to give it another shot once i got my things tidied up a bit more and some other things strait so yay for me...

all this said that same future dreaming also cause some issues in the relationship, i think we in some cases, looked ahead so hard that we missed the beauty that was our union right now, we were worrying so hard about what present to get our grandkids that the in the moment love waned and went into hibernation as the future plans we had but did not share the same view on took over our every thought.

so to one and all, future thinking is good, but don't get so caught up in what it will look like in the future that you under appreciate what you have in your hands right now. fa sho