so yeah i got dirt
i mean a load of mess that for a while it's seemed impossible to not add to.
see i never pictured myself much to be with, a 6-7 at best. with that misconception i tend to sneak myself into places where folks make me feel like more. folks do what they do and make me feel better about me. maybe i'm a nine, a catch you know? but by underselling myself, i couldnt beliveve i could get the girl till i had got the girl and by that time i'm neck deep into a relationship i didn't want to begin with. not that the sis is a bum or something the sis is bad, and believing that she wants me is a hard pill to swallow. but once i swallow it, it's too late, boom they're in love and i've been doing all i can to make sure that they like me for so long that i've convienced myself i was too, on the flip i see it's bs, but at the time no one couldve told me it wasnt a real true emotion. and why are this feelings for she and she false, cause at the end of the day i'm still in love with the one...yeah the one.
funny thing, i'm deciding to stop looking back, to handle what i can right here and step forward with honesty and clarity as my guide, but it's hard when you look around and lots of folks are still looking back, and i can't be mad cause i'm the reason they're looking back, ya know...that great big pile is following me around and because i shat where i eat my integrity is taking hits...we all do dirt, but i in my infinite stupidity did dirt in the circles i live the rest of my life in...note to all, if you're gonna do dirt, do it far from the rest of your life.
someone told me to write one of these when i'm having a good day... i'm having a good day, but for some rason this still seems sad. but you know what? i'm getting it right and together and cleaning up as much of my mess as i can...whether it follows me or not is up to those i've wronged. i'm unhitching the traylor and leaving it behind. i've said my sorries and now i've gotta walk different.
this love thing is hard work
one minute you're head over hills
the next running to those hills
seems the best route
see shes on my mind like all the time
a silent prison i choose to live in
since i made sure that now for us is
more of a dream than a reality
and since i love so hard
no part of me goes uneffected
i couldnt not show favor
if i tried with all my heart
cause all my heart belongs to you
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
I love you... in the past I've been pushed to be more up front with you and I always fear hurting your feelings but I think that does more harm than good... so I'm checking my self as I write this and please feel free to check me too... now this is something I have noticed in a number of people so it's not just YOU specific... but I feel like folks confess... and feel like yes I am cleansed.. I've gone to my Lord and repented... honestly... I think you need to leave THE ONE alone and all other women...I think you need to find you and focus on you for like a YEAR no jokes... you still switch too much... you're still finding yourself.. you're young and it shows... it's not bad... in your best interest stop rushing to something or looking... just be you for a while with no women on the brain... how long have you just honestly gone without wanting to be with a particular woman?? you're great... define that for you first and whatever woman you are supposed to be with will find you and love you
Post a Comment