I'm the bomb like tic tic..

okie dokie, if you've ever read my blog on my facebook page then you'll understand this tic thing. if not basically i get here when i'm full and need to unload, it doesn't usually all make sense and can be a bit spastic, so please forgive the tagents...

i went to the bathroom knowing i had much to write
knowing i wouldn't want to break until it all had hit the page so i took a piss
and returned to the question...

the one (yeah i know):..is it making you uncomfortable

ls: that's one word for it...lol

the one: lol what word would u describe?

ls: blah...but that won't make since to you just yet

the one: ok

so blah, that state i exist in between epiphanies, that uncomfortable but necessary space that that feels the viod between joy and pain. it really is undescribable. it's like i'm numb but anxious.

my cousin tia passed on last tuesday, her funeral was on this tuesday, im sensitive to spirit so we've been talking, at the funeral i could hear here sing and that numbness went away, i cried tears for her and much more.

soon there after my shit met me and the blah returned, tried to stamp it out with hennesy, it failed. and so i floated, got my things together, got home, took a breath and began to write, and the blah went away.

it's back!!!

i got a new phone in Dayton and needed past numbers...
#1 doesn't feel comfortable giving me her's cause of her relationship status
...i'm not trying to holler at you, not even trying to talk to you, i said i'd try to be your friend, i guess you've given up on that, que lastima...

so i wrote this poem for the one about how i still move in reaction to her
i never gave it to her
she'll read this and know i'm talking about her
she might choose not to believe it
who can blame her

clarity is nice to have but it doesnt always taste like
honey
or mac and cheese
you know mac and cheese
i used to watch my mom create it from scratch
she'd cut me some of the cheese to eat while it simmered
i loved that
know i make mac and cheese
from scratch
just like mom
except
it doesn't taste as good
and i don't give myself a piece of cheese to eat while it simmers

the thought of someone touching she like i touched her shakes me
even though i've touched others
it's different some how, i know it's all in my head though, so i decline

did i mention that before we began i told that one that we'd have to be the realtionship cause i wouldnt want to jepordize our current relationship for anything but a wife...or something like that
who can remember the exact words they say to someone anways.

i'm still full...bare with me

my friend gave me the link to sasha fierce...i think it's corny

i have a sidekick now
traded in my blackberry
and got another blackberry
hated it and took it back for a sidekick
i like it
she used to have a sidekick
i used to say my blackberry was way better
i wanted an iphone
now i have a sidekick
and she has a sidekick and an iphone

ain't life grand
a room filled with smiles
that aint personal
means less than
one indifferent face
at least you're sure they care
if i said i've cared for everyone for
where i was
would that make my faults somehow ok?

i will not spell check and i don't think i'm done, but i think i'm off topic. if you've read this far you deserve a smile, so here you go :-D